Sometimes You Can Feel Alone...

There may be many times in our lives when we feel we're walking a path alone. This can stem from any number of reasons, from actual solitude and/or loneliness, or feeling isolated within your community, or perhaps feeling you need more people who understand you. I'll share that I can feel this way, especially as I've chosen to walk a path less traveled. Where I start to feel less alone, though, is in opening to see things in a different light and changing where I spend my time and with whom I share it.

I want to share a story with you.

I recently stopped into a local shop.  As I approached the counter, needing to speak with the shopkeeper, I noticed he seemed engaged in something, though apparently had no phone, book, paperwork, nor other items with him.  When I said ‘hello,’ he slowly came over to assist me.  

The kind gentleman assisted me, and as he handed me change, I paused, hearing unfamiliar music(?) in the background.  ‘What are you listening to?’ I asked.  What he then shared brought me into deep connection, instantaneously, with a complete stranger.

‘This is prayer.  It is praying for you.  For me.  For the animals, for the birds, for the trees, for the earth.  It is a prayer for all things,’ he replied.  The delight and joy behind his eyes were palpable.  I could see the contentment and comfort this offered him.  And for a moment, I felt utterly un-alone, sharing with this stranger the hope offered by this prayer.

The chanted music was in a language I didn’t understand, but it sounded very similar to the Sanskrit I know from yoga.  The shopkeeper shared that he enjoyed listening to this particular prayer at the start of his shift.  And as I reflected back to the start of this story, I recognized he was praying when I entered the shop.  Not obviously, but discreetly, just like I do when I go for a walk in the woods or sit on my yoga mat.

‘This is not in my language,’ he replied when I asked, ‘this is Arabic.’ 

I am so grateful for this moment!  It brought me back to the travels I’ve taken around the world, and the connections I’ve made with people who I wouldn’t have thought I shared anything in common.  I remembered, as I had witnessed before, that prayer is there, regardless of the religion or language, offered by those seeking goodness in the world.  In that moment, I felt more connected beyond anything ‘known’ in our physical world.

What I take away from this story is that sometimes loneliness manifests when isolating thoughts and beliefs keep us trapped in fixed thinking.  I walked into that shop with a singular agenda, ‘in my own lane,’ as one might say, with expectations for how it would unfold.  Yet, something nudged me to hold a bit of curiosity about unfamiliar music, and I opened myself to so much more.  There are people who we DO share things in common with, even if it seems unlikely, and when we can pause for just a moment, and get out of our singular experience, we may just find these kindred connections! 

While I don’t anticipate I’ve forged a new friendship with this shopkeeper, what I do recognize is that I want to spend more time with people who give me that sense of shared experiences.  Our time and energy are valuable, and it's okay to be discerning about who we spend time with. When I think about who’s in my tribe, it’s filled with people there who love me, support me, uplift me, challenge me, help me see my weakness and celebrate my successes.  These are the people who make me feel fulfilled, content and alive, and the more time I spend with them, or opening myself to new opportunities, the less isolated I feel.

My recent experience at the shop reminded me that even though my tribe may seem small in size, the quality of those in it is massive.  It makes me realize that I am NOT so alone.  While some friends and family are nearby, others are only a phone call or text thread away.  Even when I don’t see them or talk with them for a while, I know they are still there, quietly cheering me on, wishing me well…and praying for me, for themselves, and for all things.  That is the richness of connection that lives within the heart and beyond the agendas of the day-to-day.

When those moments of loneliness creep in, and trust me, I know that they do, perhaps there’s space to recall the people around you who lift you up.  These are the people who refuel you, remind you of the experiences and connections you share - seek them out, make a call, send a message, set some time together!  And when you find another kindred soul out there, even in the most unexpected places, cherish that moment!

By Jennifer Rizza, Founder of Newtown Wellness Collective, Health & Wellbeing Coach, Yoga Teacher, Reiki Master, Kindred Spirit praying for goodness